I'm Not Me
by insanleycrazy
Summary: Do we really know Courtney?
1. Dare

_Author's note: this is my first story so I hope you guess like it._

_Oh, and I do not own TDI or TDA or any thing related, but I do own Jaimee, Devon, Chance, Alyssa, and Kaleena. Now, on with the story._

Hello. My name is Jaimee but you probably know me as Courtney from Total Drama Island. Now I know what your thinking_ WHAT…HOW……I'M CONFUSED._ So let me go back and explain everything.

Two months before Total Drama Island

I was sitting in my room listening to my favorite band, My Chemical Romance. The music was so loud, I couldn't hear anything. Just the way I like it. It was nice to just sit in my room, alone, and not have anyone bother me. I wouldn't mind if my friends were with me but my parents and my little sister are driving me crazy.

You see, my parents totally hate me now. You see they used to never care about me until I became me. You see I used to be really shy and I just wanted to fit in. Now, I'm not shy at all and I want to stand out. You see, I'm scene. That's right. My parents don't like it one bit. They are always saying, "Jaimee, quit dressing like a freak and be yourself" The whole time this is going on I'm thinking _I am myself and you're just an ass._ Then I'll laugh and get grounded.

My little sister. Don't even get me started. She's always telling me that I dress like a freak and need to fit in and be popular, just like her. I just gag. My little sister's name is Katie. She's in ninth grade and is so popular. She is a super embarrassment.

Now I'm looking at my room and what I'm wearing. I really have changed these past five years. I used to have long hair, pink, sparkiley clothes, and the whole bit. I was almost popular when I realized_ Wow popular people are just posers who act like asses and bitches._ So I got out.

Now my room is painted neon green with a ton of black skulls. My bed is black with silver writing. (Yes, I wrote all over my bed) My room was full of posters. I have a My Chemical Romance poster, Edward and Jasper from twilight posters, a Marilyn Manson poster, and a Matchbox Romance poster.

My favorite song, This is How I Disappear, just came on when my phone started to ring, mixing This is How I Dissapear with The Beautiful People. I flip it open to find a text. It was from my best guy friend, Devon.

_**hi jaimee u wont believe it we got a gig practice at 2 gig at 6 party at my house after.**_

Oh my god, we got a gig. We haven't been able to get a gig since Devon went public with him being Bi. I can't wait so I texted him back.

_**OMG so excited see u in an hour =]**_

First I did my hair. My hair was short, maybe an inch above my shoulders. I straightened it until it was perfect. Then I put my bangs in front of my eye. I went to my closet and put on a pair or black skinny jeans and a black shirt with neon paint splatters all over it. Now, to fix my hair again. I pull out the hairspray and tease my hair. It looks fantastic. Last, are the accessories. I found a neon green and black checkered belt and threw that on around my waist. I put some multi-colored spiked bracelets on my arm, a black and red bow in my hair and I was ready to go.

I grabbed my car keys and was almost out the door when my mom said, "Where do you think your going?" Man, this lady gets on my nerves. "Mom, I'm going over to Sara's house and we are going to the movies." "Oh ok then, Have fun" "Whatever Mom"

I ran out the door and got in my car. I burst out laughing I can't believe she just bought that. I pop a Manson CD in and blare the music; I'm on my way to Chance's house. He has a recording studio. Yep, almost done with my bands second CD. Yay, The thing I don't get is that were not a big band but somehow some people buy our CDs. Like I go to the mall and maybe a couple people say _omg look its jaimee_. That's rare though.

Now at Chance's

I walk in the door and scream "I'M HERE!"

Everyone came running in. Devon ran over to me and gave me a hug. Chance walked in and just said "Hi." Chance isn't much of a talker but he's one of my best friends. We walked into his recording studio and started to practice. See we practice separately and then together. So, I went first. I'm the lead singer. I sang at lest six songs and was fed up with practicing. "Chance, you know what I think" He gave me this blank look and in his eyes I could see hope. You see he wants to date me so badly. It's actually funny. "What do you think?" "I think it's your turn to practice." "Oh," was all he said. He looked really disappointed.

He picked up his guitar and played everything perfectly. Just like always. I turn the speaker on so he can hear me in the recording room, "Chance, get your ass out here. Your to perfect." Chance laughed and was coming out of the room. Devon just stared at me. Ok he's still starring, now I'm annoyed. "What are you starring at Devon and it better not be my boobs." He just laughed. "Jaimee, I am not starring at your boobs but what was that?" "What do you mean, what was that?" "Well I've never heard your cuss for fun. I mean I've heard you cuss when you're mad but never just cause."

This is the weirdest conversation ever!

"Well, Devon now you have so get your ass in there and practice." He just started laughing and walked into the recording room. Devon is the drummer. Unlike Chance, Devon isn't perfect and it took him the longest to he got everything right.

Now we can practice like a real band. We practice and got all of out material perfect. I can't wait for tonight.

At the gig

We were going to be on in five minutes. I might not be shy and I'll pretty much do anything but I am so nervous. I announcer called out, "Please put your hands together for Insanely Crazy. The crowd went wild. I can't believe that many people know about us.

By the time we had played a couple of songs I could see past the bright stage lights. I saw all my friends in the crowd. I was so happy. That's when I saw my best friends ( Yes I know _you have a lot of bff's_ but I only have four ) Alyssa and Kaleena were holding up a sign up that said _Jaimee Rocks_ on it. Then they flipped the sign over and it said _going to the party_ I couldn't wait for that party.

Then it was over, we played that last song. Everyone stood up and clapped. On our way out there were a ton of people who wanted our autographs. I even saw a somebody wearing a t-shirt with me on it. I was shocked.

Now that we're done playing, PARTY AT DEVON'S!

At Devon's House

We had all had a little too many energy drinks and were super hyper. So Devon, Chance, Alyssa, Kaleena, and I needed to get rid of some energy. So we all ditched the party and went skateboarding. Alyssa and Kaleena are new boarders. So Devon, Chance, and I had to help them. Which meant we would just laugh at them every time they fell.

It started to rain so we all went back to Devon's house. Almost everyone was gone. I turned the radio on and we all just sat in Devon's living room doing nothing. I was so bored. That's when Alyssa said, "We should play truth or dare." We all said we'd play so we sat in a circle on the floor. Devon went first. I started the game. "OK, Devon truth or dare?" He sat there and thought about it for a minute and said. "Dare" We all discussed it and came up with this. "OK, Devon you have to wear a bra and Speedo and then dance to single ladies. Oh, and did I mention were gonna video tape it." Devon's face fell. He knew he couldn't back out of a dare.

So next thing I know Devon was in a bra and stuff dancing just like Beyonce. He scared me a little. His dancing was actually good. While he was in his room changing back into his clothes, I asked him a question through the door. "Devon, Its Jaimee. Umm, look your dancing was good. I was just wondering if maybe you would be interested in being in a dancing competition with me some time?" (Oh, sorry about that. Forgot to tell you. I'm an amazing dancer. In all of my competitions I haven't gotten anything less then a first place. )

I didn't hear anything on the other side of the door. Then the door swung open and Devon pulled me inside. He was dressed in his usual clothes. He said, "Jaimee, you really think I'm that good? I don't want to old you back" "You're that good and if you hold me back I'll drop you" "Well then Jaimee, you have yourself a deal" "Alright then," was all I said. With that I went back down stairs.

When Devon came back it was Chance's turn. Kaleena asked this time, "Chance truth or dare?" Chance immediately said, "Truth." Kaleena didn't even ask anyone she just spat out, "If Jaimee would let you, would you have sex with her?" I was PISSED.

Chance answered quickly with," Yes!". I wanted to die. Everyone else was laughing.

Then it was my turn. Alyssa asked me, "Jaimee truth or dare." I answered, "Dare." I wasn't a truth person. That's when I realized what I had just done. They where gonna make me do IT with Chance. Just as Alyssa was about to open her mouth a loud commercial came over the radio.

The announcer said. "**Total Drama Island is going to be this year's hottest reality show. Before that can happen we need contestants. So you can enter by calling totaldrama……868-253-7262. Or send in a form. **

Everyone but me got in a group and started whispering again. Maybe I wasn't going to have to do it. Yay. Alyssa turned around and said, "Jaimee we dare you to go on Total Drama Island" "Ok," I said, "That'll be easy" "Wait I'm not done yet." "What do you mean" "Jaimee, you have to go as a prep." "What!!!!" I just about died. I couldn't back out. What am I going to do? I told myself I would never go back. I guess I have to do it. "Alright, under one condition, they world can not know who I am and we have to tell my mom something. Oh, and one more thing. I have to get onto the show.

Alyssa quickly grabbed her phone and called the number. Then I heard a man's voice say _you have been the first caller. So your in we just need your name and number. _Alyssa said in a voice that almost sounded like mine, "My name is Courtney and my number is 555-6789."

Alyssa closed her phone and said, "Courtney get ready for Total Drama Island."

One day before the show

My mom thinks I'm going to band camp and not Total Drama Island. I was home alone when the door bell rang. I opened the door to find Devon, Chance, Alyssa, and Kaleena. They were all carrying a ton of bags.

"Hey guys, what are the bags for?" Devon said, "Their for your new look" "My new look?" "Yes Jaimee, do you think you can pull of Courtney with your looks?" "Oh god what are you guys going to do" "You see," Alyssa said laughing.

Next thing I know I was in the bathroom. Devon said, "Ok, gotta lose this." He took all my accessories. I was pissed. I was always wearing something. A bracelet, belt, earrings……

"Now for your hair," said Alyssa. She pulled out a box of dye and said, "Jaimee close you eyes" I heard laughing and the water running. I was really tired so I fell asleep.

Next thing I know Chance is screaming in my face. He's telling me to get up. "Wha-what just happened?" "Your new look happened, Jaimee. Look in the mirror" I looked in the mirror and screamed. My hair was brown and what had they down to my side bangs. They weren't there anymore. If I was a prep I would have loved this hair.

They all laughed at my mortified expression. "Now for your clothes," Kaleena said. She was kinda a prep herself so she gave me some of her clothes to wear.

"OK," said Devon, "Since we have to fool everyone Jaimee will now be called Courtney till she gets back. Got it guys." Everyone nodded.

Tomorrow I leave for the Island. My friends are going to ride with me on the boat but I'm still nervous. I hope everything goes well and I can pull this off.

Today my name is Jaimee. Tomorrow my name is Courtney.

_Alright guys well that's it for chapter one. Hope you guys like it so far. Whether you liked it or not review. Just remember reviews keep me going so the more you review, the sooner I'll update and the better the story will get. So please review!_


	2. The Boat, The Guy, and My Sanity

_**Sorry I haven't updated since Saturday. I have been away but I'm back so here's the next chapter. I do not own TDI or TDA or any thing related.**_

I was so nervous about the show, I couldn't sleep. Just as I had started to drift of to sleep, Alyssa's yelling at me and telling me to get up. I got up cussing at her because I wanted to sleep. "Hey," I heard Devon say. "What, Devon?" "You are now a prep and most of the time they don't talk like that so lose the cussing." Oh crap, I've been cussing most of my life. I grew up around it so how am I supposed to kick the habit now. Well this is just great.

"OK," Alyssa started, "Jaimee, I mean Courtney; we have to get you dressed like a prep and pack you some stuff." She through a pile of clothes at me and told me to go change. I changed my clothes and wanted to gag. I was wearing the ugliest color of greenish-brownish pants and this grey sweater vest thing over a white shirt. I looked terrible.

I walked out of the bathroom and into my room. I found three bags lying on my bed. One bag was really big, the other one was small, and the third one was basically a grey purse. "Hey guys, what's in the bags?" Kaleena answered me, "Well since I'm basically a prep I packed your bags. There is everything in there you need to be preppy." "Great." I replied sarcastically. "So, I need three bags of stuff to make me look preppy?" "No," said Chance, "The big bag is the stuff everyone is going to see. You know like clothes and stuff. The second bag is a special bag. We all packed this one together. You can not open that bag in front of anyone or any camera. So when you open it go to a secret place. The third bag is your entertainment and such. You can look through that now."

I looked through the bag to find my diary, phone, and my I-pod. I pulled my phone out of my bag to find diamonds all over it. "Why is my phone bedazzled?!" I hate stuff like that. Devon yelled at me, "Jai…Courtney, preps love stuff like that." I just nodded and put my phone back into my bag. Then I pulled my I-pod out. It looked that same as last time. Kaleena said, "Turn it on." I turned it on and found none of my music. It was all stuff I had never heard of. There was no My Chemical Romance, no Manson, no scream-o, nothing. "What did you guys do to my I-pod?" I was almost in tears. I mean music is basically my life. I'm a dancer and I'm in a band. Without music I couldn't do either of those things. Alyssa could see the distress in my face and answered my question. "Well, preps don't listen to that kind of thing so we had to take it off your I-pod, but I did want to make sure you kept your sanity in tact. So, I hide your songs." "You did what?" "I hid your songs. I changed the song titles and bands. For example, go to Seven Things by Hannah Montana." I clicked the song and The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance started playing. I was so happy. "Thanks so much Alyssa, you're a life-saver." "I know."

We were all sitting in my living room talking when we heard a car outside. We walked outside to see a car and the driver was holding up a sign. The sign said, "Total Drama Island contestant and friends." That was the car that was taking us to the dock. We all piled into the car. The car was only meant to fit three people, but there was five of us. So, Alyssa and Kaleena had to sit on Devon and Chance's laps. Then Devon started saying perverted stuff and I was laughing so hard I was crying. That's when Alyssa hit my really hard in the arm. "Courtney!" She yelled. I gave her a weird look and she returned a look. Somehow I knew exactly what it meant. Preppy people would think that was really rude and totally gross. So, I stopped laughing immediately.

Finally, we made it to the dock. There, we boarded the boat. The outside of the boat looked like crap, but the inside was OK. There was no one on the inside part of the boat but me and my friends, so I could act like me. We played would you rather and Alyssa and I danced till the rocking of the boat made us sick. I was having so much fun until the driver of the boat came down stairs. "Courtney, we are almost at the island you have to come upstairs now."

At this point I was crying. I did not want to do this. I hugged all my friends and went up stairs. There my bags were waiting for me. I could kind of see the island, but it looked fuzzy. As we got closer to the dock I could see figures of people. As they became clearer, I straightened up my outfit and got ready to be Courtney the prep.

Has soon as the boat reached the dock I smiled and waved. I thought this was totally corny but whatever. The host helped me off the boat and said "This is Courtney." A couple of people waved but nobody said hi or anything. So I just walked over to the group of people. My first thought when I saw them was wow look at all these losers. Then I saw a girl named Gwen, she looked OK. That's when I turned around and saw this totally hot guy. I found out that his name was Duncan. He looked great with the whole punk look, but sadly I was a prep. I couldn't even be nice to him let alone date him. What a bummer.

Next thing I know we were split into two teams. I was on the killer bass. I mean what type of a name is that. If you say it wrong it could come out a killer ass. I laughed at the thought and then quickly stop myself. Preps don't think about that kind of thing.

Looking around at my teammates my thoughts were way different then what they should be. I thought super hot punk, weird cowboy, obsessive surfer veggie girl, Mrs. Man, super nerd, annoying and to fat for that outfit, and home schooled idiot. What I screamed out was, "I'm stuck on a team with crazy people!" They all stopped whatever they were doing and looked at me. That's when Duncan smirked at me and said, "I was thinking the same thing." God, he looked so hot when he smirked. Wait, hold your composer. I made the angriest face I could and walked away.

Chris a.k.a. the devil, showed us around camp. He then said all the informational stuff. "OK campers. The gopher's cabin is on the right and the bass's cabin is on the left. Boy's on the left side and girl's on the right side. Oh, and we will have challenges that last two day each. Then on the third day you can do as you please with no cameras. So, go get settled in."

When I get to our cabin the girls gave me first choice, and by that I mean Eva had already chosen her bunk. I think she's a man. So I picked the bunk closest to the door. All the other girls started settling down when a voice came over the loud speaker. "Tomorrow will be the first challenge. So, be ready. Chris McClain out."

I finished settling down and decided to make some preppy friends. Thank god the cameras aren't here. I hate meeting new people. I walked up to a girl wearing way to short shorts and a tank top that exposed her stomach. I wanted to gag but I didn't. I put on a smile and walked over to her. "Hi, I'm Courtney and you are?" "I'm Heather for you information, I don't talk to people on the opposite team as me." With that she stormed of. Maybe I should try making friends with my teammates.

I walk over to a girl in a blue cut off sweats and a blue hoddie. "Hi, I'm Courtney. What's your name?" She smiled at me and said, "Hi, My name's Bridgette." "So what do you like to do for fun?" "I surf. I absolutely love the ocean. What do you do?" Oh crap, I didn't think to make me a life style. So, I came up with the quickest thing I could. "I'm the schools president and I'm in most of my school's clubs." "Oh, sounds like……fun, I guess." I just stood there and smiled. Then the cowboy, who's name is Geoff called her over. She looked at Geoff then back at me. "Sorry Courtney, I better go see what he wants." With that she took of towards Geoff.

Well, there really isn't anything I want to do or anyone else I want to talk to. As soon as I thought this, I knew it was a lie. I wanted to talk to Duncan so badly, but I couldn't. I would totally blow my cover. So, feeling depressed, I walked over to the dock, took my shoes off, and put my feet in the water. Nobody was over here, so it was peaceful. I started to think about my day and started realizing that I didn't do to bad as a prep. Though for me this is a living hell. I can't talk to anyone I want to or be myself and I'm probably going to be stuck with totally shallow 'friends.'

I had been sitting over here for a while and nobody has bothered me. I was really tired because of the lack of sleep. I was almost asleep when someone grabbed my shoulder and made me jump. I turned around to see a laughing Duncan. I wanted to smile so badly, but I couldn't. Instead I made a mad face and said, "That wasn't funny." He just laughed and sat down. I couldn't believe he was sitting with me but I still have to look angry. He just looked at me and said, "Look just meeting my teammates and apparently you don't want my company so I'll leave." He stood up and walked away. I was feeling really diapointed and down. He stopped walking and turned around, "For now." He added. My spirits were lifted again.

Not long after Duncan left my feet turned into ice cubes. I pulled my feet from the water and put my shoes back on. That's when I realized how late it really was. I ran back to my cabin to find all the girls playing a game. Bridgette noticed me and said, "Where have you been, it's like eleven. Well, who cares come play with us. It's like an ice breaker game." "OK." I sat down and played the game.

It was around one when everyone had finally fallen asleep. I was almost asleep when I remembered the bag. The one Chance told me not to open until I was by myself and everything. So I grabbed the bag and went outside. Nobody was there but I still felt as if I was being watched. So, I took of running into the woods. I ran so far into the woods I found the end. It opened up to a beach. It was much nicer then the other side of the island.

So, I opened the bag up. I was so happy I started crying. I first pulled out a note saying, "Jaimee, we didn't want you to lose your sanity." I laid the note on the sand and pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans. Below them was a neon green shirt with black skulls all over it. I pulled out a black and white checkered belt, with square bracelets attached to it. Then I found a small box. I opened it up and found some of my earrings. Then I found a portable radio player and my favorite My Chemical Romance CD. I was so happy at that moment.

I put everything back into the bag and just sat their thinking. That's when I started to get cold. So I headed back to camp. The woods seemed really quite and for some reason I found that comforting. Then I heard a twig snap. I quickly threw the bag into a tree and then I climbed the tree. Being as quite and as still as I could be I watched below. I saw Duncan. Why did it have to be him? Just the sight of him makes me a bit off. I almost feel out of the tree. That's when he stopped and looked around. He looked up but didn't see me. Thank god. That's when he pulled out a can of red spray paint and started spraying it on the tree. He soon put the can away, looked around again, and then walked back to camp.

As soon as I was sure he was gone, I climbed out of the tree. I looked at the tree to find a small red skull. It looked really cute. I wish I could tell him I liked his art work but then he would know I was here and then I would blow my prep cover. This is going to be harder then I thought.

I finally made it back to camp and crawled into bed at about four. For some reason, even with all the lack of sleep, I couldn't sleep. So, I grabbed my I-pod and put the ear buds in. That's when My Chemical Romance filled my ears. I instantly felt relaxed. I hoped tomorrow would be easier but I know it wont be. With that last thought I fell asleep.

_**I hoped you guys liked it. Thanks to all who reviewed. Reviewers are awesome and amazing. I'll try and update soon. Thank you to all who are reading this. =]**_


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